September 29th, 2008 at 12:55 PM
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So, on Friday I told Jay (My babysitter) that I would watch the kids Monday, because he had other plans. I don’t remember doing this, but I know he’s telling the truth. He would never lie to me about that, so I can only deduce that not having my meds is beginning to affect my social interactions again.
That being said, Sara told me last night that she was going to take the kids to daycare so I could get some sleep before my shift tonight. She woke up, took the kids to Jay’s; and upon arrival was told that I said I would be watching them. Yeah…
Not that I compare Kayla to Sara often, but here is one major difference. When something like this happens with Kayla, she understands that it is because I’m off my medication, and helps me to find a solution. She’s been in the same situation before. Sara, on the other had, called me; and in her frustration yelled at me, finishing off the conversation with, “It’s nothing more than I’ve come to expect from you.”
I cried for a good 2 hours this morning. I hate letting people down – especially those that I care about. It’s not that I would ever do anything like this intentionally, because I wouldn’t. This whole thing was an accident; but the reality is that she lived with me for 5 years and no medication. She believes that this is me, all the time; because our past histor indicates that it was. Knowing that, no matter how hard I try on this, it will never change her opinion on me; that hurt a lot.
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On a separate note, I did finish up the summary of Michelle Carlson’s Page yesterday. Still no word back from the other party on whether his page can be published or not.
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Oh, and I’ve been with Luciene and Amaris all weekend! When I get my first bonus check in, I’m buying myself a nice little digital camera. Then I can put up PICTURES!!!!! YAY Pictures!
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September 27th, 2008 at 10:33 PM
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So, I’m sitting here watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and it is killing me. I’ve watched it so many times, it’s a miracle that I haven’t made it into a dramatic production yet.
Anyways, everytime I watch it, I think… Way too much.
I have….way too many things on my mind this evening. I’d prefer to be someone else – David or Ruth Laskin Maybe. They sound nice. A turn of the century beachhouse, set in nw costal california. 40 Feet from the sand, you can smell the brine wafting in on the tidal breeze. Sitting on the aged wooden floor, bits of sand settling behind you as you kick your feet off the edge of the deck. Might even toss a glance to the gentle moon above, casting down beams as an azure braziened backlight. Yes, the brisk clouds pulling the air around me in a stream from the ocean into the dunes tell me that this is who I should be tonight.
But I can’t – too many others things drift in and out of my mind, never settling; but instead flowing in a state of activated suspension. Think like an eternally moving acrylic waterfall. The droplets just keep cycling, over and over and over again.
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Love? What is love if nothing more than the appreciation of hate’s abscense? Is it true happiness? I think not, but I don’t really know…. Maybe it’s time I learned. And so it is writ, So shall it pass.
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Finished up another Wiki today. No link though, it has not been checked out by that person yet. Will link it as soon as he approves.
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September 25th, 2008 at 1:32 PM
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This is a big Happy Birthday to Guillermo (AKA: MajorXero), and to celebrate his new arrivals – What better than pictures of the kittehs?
Clickeh the Linkeh!
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September 24th, 2008 at 3:29 PM
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Wow. Last night I was sick. I made a nice mess of artificial chicken substitute with Melted goat feta cheese and cranberries, saturated with cherry limade all over the call center floor. Then, my boss said, “I think you should go home.”
To which I replied, “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”
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Damnit. Left my glasses at work.
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September 23rd, 2008 at 1:03 PM
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I got off work at 8.30 AM this morning, and promptly went to bed. Work is not too bad. For the first 3 hours, it is almost 20 minutes between calls. Because of this, I got to (pretty much) finish Joel’s information on the Wiki.
It was recently brought to my attention that some people may not be able to find the link to the Lost and Found from the main page. Due to this, I would like to point out that it is on the right side of the page….(:cough: Kayla :cough:)…labeled as: The Lost and Found……In bold lettering….
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So, this is day Seven without medication. Hooray for no health care during the first Ninety days of employment. :Sarcasm, if there ever was some: I ate WAAAAYYY to much last night….mostly liquid calories and caffiene, to ensure I did not fall to the dark side…..er….fall asleep during my shift. Luckily, without my medication, I have the innate and unique ability to go weeks without more than 2-3 hours of sleep every 3-4 days. Here’s to being mentally deficient!
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September 22nd, 2008 at 10:19 PM
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So, Sara’s car died on the way home from work today. She was in a construction zone, headed down Power Rd, and the Radiator decided it wanted to assplode. We’d known for awhile that it was a problem, but didn’t get it fixed because I was still looking for employment. Go figure – I find employement, and as soon as the first paycheck rolls in, the car dies. I’m laughing on the inside, but on the outside? I’m irritated.
We had a blast towing it home. I first called the police, who told me that because it was in a construction zone, if it was left unattended and someone reported an abandoned vehicle, it would be towed. Sara stayed with the car, and I drove Amaris and Luiciene home for the evening. Luciene was upset that I couldn’t stay and make him dinner, but his Grandma’s sandwhiches sufficed to feed him. (Not going to get started on Grandma, but if it was not for her selfish pride, or her emotional lack of forethought, we would have never been in this situation to begin with.)
After that, I went to Checker Auto Parts and bought a 15 foot tow-strap. Hook everything up, and tell Sara: “Ease into it, we want to get some tension first, then you can start acceleration.” She gets into the car, and immediately hits the gas. LOL. The force snaps the hook attached to the end of strap, rendering the last two feet of the strap useless.
Ok, so we reattach everything, only the catch being I had to manually knot everything. So 15 feet of strap comes out to about 4 feet between the cars when properly attached to the frame in an “A” shape. We then proceed to go 35 MPH all the way back to Queen Creek. Man – Oh – Man! There were some pissed off people behind us. You see, there is really only one road into Queen Creek; and we were doing 35 in a 50 zone. :tehe:
So, that pretty much destroyed my sleepy-time before I start my new schedule. I’m working Midnight to 8:30 AM, Tuesday through Saturday. I think it will be fun, if I can manage to stay awake. I have also resumed working out. Much to my dismay, there is no rowing machine at the Gold’s Gym I use, so I had to make due with the Cross-Training Machiene, and the suspended leg-lift. For the Record: Vicodin + Gym workout = Exhausted after the medication wears off.
With that, I am off to take a shower…or maybe a bath. Either way, I am going to get clean. I hate that dirty feeling of having car grease being absorbed through my pores. It’s gross!
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Oh, and Happy Mabon to all! (Alban Elfed for you Neo-Druids, and Meán Fómhair for the Irish in all of us!) That’s the second harvest festival, and coincides with the Equinox, for all you paganly dis-inclined folks out there.
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Oh, and congratulations to Xerxes! The newest addition to Indigo_Eris and VoronX’s family has acquired a small crip with which to begin his conquest of human civilization! I, for one, welcome our new infant overlord….
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September 21st, 2008 at 12:28 PM
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So, my widom teeth finally came in.
The Doc said that when they did, either my molar, or my wisdom tooth would most likely crack, because I have a condition called “weak teeth.”
Not only did it fracture, it actually split in two, and part of it broke off. I screamed for a good 20 minutes, my face throbbing and producing enough heat to warm a poor family in London during the winter. My face has alternately gone through slight amounts of pain, to immense fires burning through my upper mandible like the Flaming Eye of Mordor scouring for The Ring.
Tomorrow, I am going to the Dental School; and letting them pratice on my mouth. And to top it off, I will be paying them for it; I think. Either that, of if it costs too much, I’m going to invest in a good bottle of Gin, grap a set of pliers, and rip the dam thing out my self.
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As for the conversation, it has not continued as there was not the ability to talk. It will have to wait until next week.
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September 20th, 2008 at 5:30 PM
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So, I’ve been writing this site for about a week, and it’s coming along well enough. I’ve happy to hear that my friends, Indigo_eris and Voronx‘s baby is doing better! Things like that give me faith in the world coming out alright.
Sara and I had an interesting conversation last night, and it will most likely be continued today when she gets home. I will post on that later. For now, I get to play with the Kiddos! Luciene is watching the television, as he just woke up from his nap. He is cranky when he first wakes. I guess this means he is not a morning person, huh? Amaris is downstairs with me. We’ve been cuddled on the couch, as she is in another “hold-me!” mood. I’m game…Pretty soon she’s going to be like her brother: “Mr. I can do it myself!”
Kayla is moving stuff around the apartment. I can’t wait to see what it looks like when I get back – It’s like a surprise. I am also hoping that the male guniea pigs finally learn to get along. I’m not sure what will happen if they can’t, but I presume that at least one of them won’t be happy.
I’ve still got alot of people to update on the People page, but it’s coming along. After I get all the people I’ve listed there, I’m going to move on to my pathetically small Places page, and make it worth being there.
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Oh, and what’s so funny? Well, I was writing Esther’s page, I realized I didn’t have her time of birth memorized anymore. So, I wrote her and asked her. She went off on this trip about how we shouldn’t talk anymore, out of respect to her husband. I laughed. I love you, Esther; but that was a little much, don’t you think? Wait, forgot: You’re married now. Sorry.
On the less sarcastic side: I am truly sorry that you feel, or Justin is insecure to the point, that a friendship with a former lover is interfering with your marriage. I had mistakenly thought that, as grown adults, we could behave a little more maturely.
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