October 31st, 2008 at 8:33 PM
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So, Grandma and I took the kids out Trick or Treating. Luciene and Amaris got a small portion of candy, but they had a ball. Running amuck betwixt the houses and talking to all the other “creatures” and “characters” that were out. Luciene kept saying, “More Candy Please!” After which he would say Thank-You and follow it up with a Trick or Treat! Amaris was tuckered out by the time we got home. I checked all the candy, gave them each two pieces, and put my baby girl to bed. She went out light a candle under water.
Instead of inundating the interwebs with thousands of Halloween Pictures, I will post only these two. {1} {2}
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My car’s check engine light came on today. It’s been gently knocking and getting gradually worse for the past 3 days. Now that means all three cars are on their way out, or already out. Ugghhhh.. I no has that monkies. Calling Drivetime tomorrow to see if there is some sort of warranty. I really hope there is, otherwise I’m walking to work and I’ll never see my kids.
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Sara is apparently going out tonight. I was invited, but I have work. Erica invited me out as well. I really thought about going, mostly because she looked VERY cute this morning, but I don’t know her well enough yet….. And I have work…. Grrr… Work….
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October 31st, 2008 at 1:28 AM
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In the grand scheme of things, My OCD is driving me nuts! I’m sitting at the wrong desk today, and everything is going quaintly worng in the most odd sort of ways.
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I missed a sale on my first call, and the last part of a particularly long joke involving a poor kid, a circus, and a donkey. And why? Becasue some guy called in wanting to know what organizations the company I am employed by donates to. He insinuated that he was going to leave the company because of our political affiliation. I straing asked him, “Are you dissatisfied with our service? …No? Then why cancel?” He sat silently agast for a few seconds, as if he didn’t know what just happened. After he regained his composure, He tried to restate something about McCain and Network Security. I had to interject (which is something I don’t normally do in conversation – it’s rude) and let him know that he could contact our Media Relations Team for an official statement, and that I was just a lowly representative. He then asked for a list of companies and donation amounts. I apologized and strongly reiterated that I don’t know the information. He disconnected.
LAWL. Why would someone call into a company and try to convince the representatives that their company is levying politics incorrectly? Hello…McFly…. I work for the company, Stupid. I’m drinking the company kool-aid, taking cash from the cow, and eating from the man’s buffet.
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I slept today, like a rock. Going to bed at 10:00 and waking up at 2:15, then dozing until 4:25 unintentionally. (My phone alarm didn’t go off.) Amaris and Luciene were happy to see me, and I can’t wait to take them Trick or Treating tomorrow evening. Luciene is going as Superman, and despite my abhorrence towards stereotypes, Amaris is going as a (pointy-hat wearing) witch. Note to self: Purchase flashlight for on the go candy-checking prior to consumption.
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October 30th, 2008 at 12:50 AM
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I haven’t seen or done anything interesting or worthy of note, so I am updating Project:Other on the 2love2learn Wiki.
This is what I have.
And here is the lyrical goodness…
No claims, just happened to have gotten stuck in my head tonight, and I wanted to share.
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Update: Someone at work just sent me this:
http://gomilfy.com/
THIS.
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October 29th, 2008 at 4:34 AM
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…to distract myself from thinking I’m tired and ignore the effects on my body until I collapse! YAY!
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October 26th, 2008 at 11:48 AM
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Fully hallucinating now. It’s good to be normal. :hysterical laughing: Unfortunately, it does drive those I love quite batty.
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I think everything is over. That’s unfortunate, but I guess it’s understandable. Right now, I am not me, I am ME! It’s like me, but on the highest riding, fastest flying, drunken driven Cessna. Not quite a full-sized jet, but enough to make people who are in it want to strap on the nearest parachute and jump.
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October 25th, 2008 at 12:27 AM
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Week 6, No Meds:
Bring on the nightmares. My “dreams” have recently been so bad that I am waking myself up, despite not living a complete lifecycle. I’m afraid to sleep because of what’s happening in them. I find myself talking to people who I will later on realize were never there, and finally; my mind is withdrawing from everything and everyone. I am numbing out to the point that I just don’t really care about anything other than my kids.
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Speaking of not caring, I’m in the process of re-organizing my life again. People, If I love you, I’m going to keep you around. If not, don’t be surprised when you don’t get callbacks. I’m weaning some of you out of my life, and for good this time.
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I apologize for the lack of posting a journal entry this week. I had thought I did, but (obviously) I did not. I haven’t worked on the site and/or the things contained in it for about 5 days, but the nighttime over this weekend is most likely free, so I will have time to start finishing up the major parts.
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Bill is sitting on the fence about coming back to Arizona. I’d like him to come, but it should be for the right reasons. Completely support him, either way.
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Oh, and I am truly beginning to miss Justin Gonzales. I think I will call him soon. That, and Adam lost his job this week. Another fine victim of Verizon Wireless.
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One more thing. The Arizona State Fair is in town. Maybe I will go this year. It’s been a long time. A long time, indeed.
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October 18th, 2008 at 8:31 PM
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No sex? A sex attic and no sex? Not even a claim, but an honest-to-god, clinically diagnosesd attic. My body is cringing. I don’t know if I can go that long without sex. And there is so much other stuff involved.
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Depression – Worse. Hangnail – Better. Tummy-Healing. Ego? Bruised.
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Kids are happy. Luciene was snuggly, and Amaris was jealously attempting to steal the attention. It was such fun. They wake up again tomorrow, and it starts all over again. I COULD DO THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. (but I have to go back to work someday)
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So tired. I haven’t really slept in days. I’m going to sleep tonight, and I’m trying not to let things bother me. Sara only asked me once if I was ok, and I passed it off without too much trouble. Tara‘s fresh on my mind, but there are other things there as well. Always with the other things.
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Love is such a fickle girl. Fickle, Fickle girl indeed.
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Note: Deliberate misspellings make her irritated. Love her anyways.
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October 17th, 2008 at 12:38 AM
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Today is the Viewing, at four in the afternoon. I am dreading going to see her, because I don’t think I can deal with the family drama. Meh. I’m going to sleep at Killa’s this morning after work, that way I can do my laundry as well. Currently drinking a 16.9 Oz Sugar Free RedBull. Pretty soon, I’m going to have them sponsor me for something. I buy enough of them a month to at least get a free bicycling suit or something. :laughs:
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Going to go see the kiddos on Saturday. Next week, I’m going to start a new schedule with picking them up from daycare and visiting them. I am excited. VERY excited.
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On a much more depressing note – My power supply went out sometime in the last three months. I say that because it’s been in storage at Leo‘s house. I went to Bookmans, and purchased one for testing. I got a 20 pin ATX, instead of a 24 pin. Normally that wouldn’t matter; however: I am running an SLI video card, and SATA drive. This incurs more power consumption and the additional four pins are needed. So I will ahve to purchase a new PSU with my next paycheck. I think that my hard drive may also be on the fringe, or dead. We shall see. (So close, Bill. So Close……)
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Oh, and I finished Richard Trevethick’s Page. It’s a decent read, although long-winded. Sorry.
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So, Sitting at work, and there is this beautiful…. in a blue shirt with…. and…. won’t even talk to …… Man, I wish I was…..
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October 14th, 2008 at 7:13 PM
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I can’t sleep again. Good thing I have Sugar-Free Red Bulls in the fridge at work. Otherwise, I think I’d go comatose.
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A heavy depression sunk in today, after I visited Aunt Catherine and Uncle Mike. I spent a good deal of time there, just listening to how they felt. These people, who cherished the life of the same woman I do. Patti began to go off today, and I almost lost my temper right there. What she said doesn’t really matter, but it really hurt and upset me – to the point where I turned to tell her off, but she had already gotten into the car to leave.
It titters on me, and I want to yell a ever increasing cresendo, so loud that everyone can hear me; and sustain it so long that people get used to it and move on – leaving me to my own silent screaming. Even then, I’m feeling violent, and out of sorts. I don’t want to talk to anyone, and I feel like snapping at everyone. Hopefully it will get better from here.
Anyways, I went to Catherine’s, like I said. I hugged her, and loved on her. I really feel for her. Everyone else in the house (adults) seemed morose, but strangely uncaring. I can only presume that this is how they are dealing with it. The children don’t seem to really understand, and were more given to playing with me. I obliged them, as I could never, EVER, break something so innocent – something so pure.
I did take two photos, and posted them to the most inaccurate places on my photo journal:
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October 14th, 2008 at 2:15 AM
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Well, I am not one for a bitchfest; but the last two days have sucked royale.
Monica is upset, will not talk to me due to a previously stated misunderstanding. My schizophrenia is getting the best of my close relations, it is becoming hard for us to see eye to eye anymore. My ability to think is returning, but at the cost of my ability to behave in a socially acceptable manner and my ability to function within the confines of common sense. I have an infected sore on my tummy that I had to squeeze the nastiness out of – it took up almost four paper towels. My hangnail is not getting better. Grrr… My driver-side front tire has a screw in it that cause a slow leak, causing my tire to go flat enough that it bowed at the bottom – Now there is a crack in the tire, as well as the initial screw. DAMNIT! And to top it all off, my best friend died yesterday morning. If I had a dog, I bet someone would have kicked it.
There are not enough cursewords in the world, in all the languages I know and/or understand, to compensate for how I feel. I’m in the middle of a “F-the-world” mood, and I am going to be fixing this by ridding myself of the unnecessary people in my life.
Thankfully, I know it will pass. Until then, I take comfort in the fact that all things are impermanent, that is: nothing is eternal/infinite, and change is the only consistency in this reality. Until I can relax, my phone will be set to off, and I am only answering calls from a select few individuals.
Tara – I love you. When I get to where you are: I’m going to kick your ass and break your legs for going first. I’m going to miss you, and I hope that you can read this: Where ever you may be.
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