So, with all the shit I was feeling, she came in and settled everything. She had been sick, and bitter, and having a crappy week that ended a fairly crappy month.
I sent her this:
“Every time I’m at that point, where I’m about to break, and just relax as the world crumbles around me; you emerge from this pithy swarm of sadness and help me take that extra step, showing me love and compassion where my own mind has faultered. I don’t know how, or where it comes from, but thank you.”
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No links, just a brief update so don’t forget. Nice things matter just as much as the not nice things.
Kayla spent the past two days with my children and I. It was a lot of fun, and I have a new level of respect for her. Dealing with my children can be a difficult thing to do. Luciene was very off the wall yesterday. He was also very upset. He and his sister have a puppy named Dommie.
Dommie likes to play, and nips occasionally. Everyone in the house knows that, to get Dommie to learn not to nip, you are supposed to tap her on the snout and tell her, “No Biting,” in a very firm voice. Grandma does it, Ivy (Sara) does it, I do it, and even little Amaris does it.
Luciene, being the sensitive empath that he is, doesn’t hit animals. He won’t tap her on the nose, or even take a dominating posture. We’ve told him, and demonstrated how to do this multiple times. He just won’t do it. He would rather have her chew him and cry about it. I’m not sure what to do about it.
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Grandma got back from the hospital last week. Her leg was broken from a fall. She was put into a brace, but now it would appear that she is going in for surgery. She has stated that she is going to live her her oldest daughter, to have help with being taken care of.
This pushes alot of the move stuff up. It will be within the next 6-8 weeks. So, I am looking for a new place. I’m a little unsure on where Kayla stands in regard to moving. Every time I talk to her about options, she doesn’t seem to keen on anything. I don’t want to press her, but I want to finish making plans. .shrug. Oh well, guess I’m just going to play that one by ear.
The Mormon Church is going to be taking care of Ivy’s (Sara’s) car. They offered to pay for all the repairs. I find it humorous. The church has paid Grandma’s half of the rent for almost 2 years now. I think they are doing everything they can to get her to move, so that they don’t have to pay for her anymore. Like any good corporation, they’ll do what’s good for their “customers” until it becomes bad for business, and now that they realize they have given her over $7000 in the last 2 years, they are looking to resolve this “issue.”
It looks as though I am going to have full custody of the kids. I’m still leering both ways on that one. .sigh. Oh well, there’s not much that can be done about it now, Jimbo, is there?
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I have been really busy these past few days. At my job, we took a training test. Now, we were all told on our interviews that if we failed any one of the 4 tests, it would be an immediate write-up and grounds for termination. Thankfully, I have not had any issues with this so far. However, over 80% of the class failed this last round. So, virtually everyone is on a written warning.
Now, I am a person who studies on my free time, and takes the time to understand things because I enjoy learning the unknown. I play with the stuff on my breaks, stay in to read the technical communication during lunches, etc. My class, for the first time in my life, is not a bunch of goof-offs. They take it seriously, because they need the job. They study, and ask questions of the teacher, and other students. It’s not like they’re sitting in class, talking/texting/playing games. I think, if over 80% of a class fails, then maybe the teacher (or the material being taught) should be replaced. Because either the teacher isn’t teaching us what we need to know, or the things being taught to us are not what we are being tested on. That’s just my thoughts on the matter.
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Yesterday, we went to Leo’s housewarming party. I have finally met the elusive Henry. I like him. He’s intelligent, witty, fully of horrible puns (yes, you idiot, puns and wit are differing), cute, and vastly entertaining. (Note to self, he also knows someone who suffers from Lucid, or Waking, Dreams) I also met David, and became reacquainted with Daniel Machlowski (sp?) and his brother Roland. I was rather disappointed when Roland left without so much as a goodbye, but hey – Shit happens.
Kayla came with me! I was excited for her to finally meet the kid of people I like to hang out with. Hyper-intelligent, Attention Deficit, upright-walking simians (Yes, I realize this includes a few other species). She said she had a good time, and the boys there seemed very entertained. This, I like. Afterwards, she stated that she was grateful for the eye-candy that attended. And there was a bit of the eye-candy, I must admit.
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Later on, we went to see Inglorious Basterds. It started at 10:45, and we arrived in the theater at 10:55, right when it started. Of course, there were no seats, and we were in the third row. It was either that, or go get a refund, because there were a large amount of douchebags that were sitting one seat away from each other. .kicks dumb people. I cannot understand why I ever liked sitting so close to the screen when I was younger. My eyes hurt afterward, from having to focus on something so large that was less than 30′ in front of me. (HA! Douchebags is not in my spell checking utility!)
I will say that, if you can ignore the blatant incongruity with historical literature, research, and teachings; then it is a decently entertaining movie. I’d give it a 7.5 out of ten. What does this mean? Well, if you have a large, flat-screen HD-TV, with a Dolby Digital Surround Sound System, I’d wait until it comes out on Blu-Ray. Otherwise, in about a week, go to the Matinee. It’s not quite worth the full-theater, no seating, full ticket price. But the Matinee price? Absolutely.
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Anyways, like I was saying… Kayla is amazing. She tolerated my children really well, and is seeming to be in a better mood as of late. She did get sick on Thursday. .sadface. Yesterday, we started off the day by dripping off her guinea pig at the crematorium. That, in it and of itself, is a very difficult thing for someone to do. We arrived there, and it turns out that the payment card was misplaced. I drove home to get it, and she stayed there with the person in charge (What do you call them? Farm –> Farmer, Labor –> Laborer, Crematorium –> Creamer? Creamatoriumer? Cremator? Grill Master? Chef??!!? What on earth is their title?!!?).
Anyways, I returned and the lady was paid. It will be four business days before the ashes are returned.
After the Crematorium, we headed to Walmart for some basic supplies, and then Fresh N’ Easy for Guinea Pig Treats. We came back for about an hour, then headed out to take my cat, Yue, to the vet. She was prescribed some medicine, and hopefully her poop will return to normal soon. Poor baby kitteh.
We came back for about another hour, then it was off to pickup the afore mentioned kids, then to Leo and Henry’s, followed by the movies, and finally to pickup Guillermo from the bar, before returning home and crashing to Dexter. It was a very busy, fun-filled day. Which also explains why it is noon, and she is still asleep. I would be too, but I needed to take Mr. G back to his car, so he could go to work.
Now him, I feel bad for. Last night, he told us he had 3 beers, and he was out of it. I was busy thinking he was a pansy for good 15 minutes before he finally clarified that he had Three 24 Ounce Mugs of beer. That’s a half gallon of beer, or 4.5 pounds, or (for you non-Americans out there) over 2 kg. And it was a wheat beer. He had a tummy full of yeasty goodness. Poor kid. We picked him up at about 2:30, and he had to be in for work at 11:00. HA! Hungover bosses are the best!
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Today, I believe we will be doing laundry. Yay. . . At least it’s cloudy. I am not sure whether I will see my kids tomorrow, or not. If I didn’t, it would be the first time in over a year that I did not see them for 2 consecutive days in a row. I try and see them every day, unless it’s my weekend. Then I usually see them every other day for three days, and on Monday return to seeing them every day.
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Well, those are your thoughts for today, DM. Next time, try organizing them. Go back to sleep.
So, I’m at work right now, secretly trying out the wordpress blackberry application. This test will show me whether my crossposting plugins function from here.
And whether line breaks work
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Filled out a survey on my trainer today. Had a lot to say, but it wasn’t anon. I said all I had to say, provided examples, and gave suggestions on how things could be done better. (Because without suggestions, all it would be is complaining, no?)
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Yesterday was crap. This whole god-damned week has bow monkey balls. Instead of thinking and posting what happened, I’m going to focus on the good:
1.) Got my phone exchanged.
2.) Spoke with Vaughn, a good friend and ex-call center moved direct store rep.
3.) Played with my children! Always a plus!
4.) Got to see my girlfriend. It was nice. This schedule is killing my time with her, so I love every second that I get.
5.) Passed one of the tests in work. (Almost 80% failed)
6.) Paid up my bills
7.) Looked up and discussed living arrangements with the miss and the missus. Missusses? Meh. With the girlfriend and ex-wife.
So yesterday was productive.
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Wow. Just found out that I cannot add links. Will have to repost later with proper linkage. Ok, here goes the test.
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BOOM!
Today is Thursday. It is the last day of my workweek. We are ahead of schedule in training, but just barely. It is still boring, and I’ve only really learned a few new things. I enjoy the job so far, and cannot wait to get back to the stuffs I’m good at, which is making people happy. (What? I’m good at it if you pay me to do it… lol)
— Kayla is shifting between ups and downs, but it doesn’t seem so violent as of late. She really misses her animals – they are her family, and I’m sure everyone can relate to losing their loved ones. I understand what she’s going through, that’s for sure.
She came with me to Queen Creek yesterday, despite her feeling a bit, Meh. I am grateful. I got to spend some good time with her, and she spent some time talking to Ivy (Sara), my Ex. They didn’t fight, and for that I am grateful.
She’sSara’s going on a date tonight, with some guy named Mike. She also saw this guy last tuesday and last week. I am grateful for her finding someone to share things with. She seems to be much happier. That does, however, leave me stuck here for the night, or at least until she gets home.
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The good news on that front? I get to see some of my friends this weekend! I am supposed to see Phedrespaz tomorrow night, after the kids go down, and I also get to see Killa and Co. This makes me happy! That means I also get to spend additional time with Kayla before I go into work again on Sunday. Yay!
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I haven’t been doing much online lately, and I owe you my apologies for that. I’ve been busy sending out thoughts to @ammre, and catching up with some other friends. I miss them, and I wish I had more time in the day to talk with everyone.
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The hallucinations have been at a minimum, as far as I can see. I’ve only been seeing people and inanimate objects. Even with the dead Guinea in the house, I have been able to keep everything at bay. This is progress, despite what the doctors may have said about it being degenerative. Strangely enough, I am doing far better without their help than I ever did with it.
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Grandma is still here. Still bitching. I seriously wish she would just shut her piehole. I’m tired ofthe overly-dramatic crap. Don’t get me wrong, I wish her the best, but I wish it to her with duct-tape over her mouth, you know?
I don’t have the time, or patience, to deal with an embittered old woman that hates the world and everything in it.
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(3 hours later)
Update: Grandma picked a fight with me tonight. I was very surprised. She seemed to want to fight, because I tried to step back from it many times. She barraged me with insults and cut downs for almost 15 minutes before I finally snapped. Why? Because I asked her (In a very polite, respectful tone) to not scream at my children. They were being loud in the living room, playing, and she had a problem with it. Only, instead of treating them like people, she just turned and screamed at them. Not exaggerating, she just flew off the handle. So I asked her to stop. She went off on me. About how she pays for the house and can kick me out (lol – she’s not on the lease, I am. I already notified the cops of this issue) She went off on how I never pay for anything. (Except the electric, the food, the water, half of daycare, clothes, movies, healthcare, and anything else needed). But what got me in the end was calling me a bad father.
Now, I will tolerate pretty much anything if I’m not in the mood to fight. I’m not saying that I won’t always diffuse the situation, but I was not wanting to fight. However, there are a few things you can say to get on my bad side. Non-Truths, hurting other people (physical, mental, or spiritual), making fun of someone’s infirmity without an understanding and permission from that person (Hey – I find it funny to make jokes about Schizos), and hurting animals irk me. But call me a bad Father, and you will die and go to hell in a handbasket with every one of your relatives.
My life is for my children. They are the highest priority that matter to me in this world 90% of the time, and the other 10% I’m sleeping. (Directly followed by the other people I love). I do everything I can to make sure I am a good dad. I go out of my way for help because I know I’m disabled, and I have humbled myself to the point of asking others for opinions on things I should do with regards to mental illness and raising children. To say I’m a bad father is an outright lie, and it PISSES ME OFF! I am not a bad father, and while I may not be the World’s Best Dad, and I make mistakes, I love my kids, and I would do anything they need to ensure their happiness and education. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a fucking idiot.
When I finally snapped, I told her that if my kids were drug attics and still living with me when they turn 30, then she could offer me advice, but until then I am going to raise my children the way that Sara and I deem proper.
Unfortunately, I had to message Sara and let her know so she wouldn’t come home to a “surprise.” I hope she can ignore it, and continue with her date. I’m sorry, Hon.
First off, my (bucket)list is FINALLY at 400! Woot! only 601 more things to add!
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Wow. My Car is being fixed, and hopefully it won’t be don’t until friday. Why, you may ask? Because I do not get paid until friday, and will not be able to refill the gas in the rental until then. I am also hoping that they determine the damage to the right front motor mount is due to the accident, and that it gets repaired.
I’ve got some stuff I need to do this week. Namely, laundry and looking into more disability information. He’s got some experience, so maybe after I get paid, I can treat him to coffee in exchange for assistance. Who knows?
— Kayla’s First Guinea Pig died yesterday. Cabrielle. I’m callous when it comes to death, but I know that her pets mean to her what my kids mean to me; and the God’s know I don’t post about my kids often enough. She’s a good Mom, and she always does everything she can to take care of her kids.
Please just take a moment, and respectively bully your nearest litter-mate.
Or just say a word for her tonight, and send your love her way. She can always use the good vibes. Read the rest of this entry »
Wowsers. This was a fun week. Started new Job- Kick Ass, BTW. Car overheated and broke down, then I finally got a callback from the insurance of that car that hit me way back in June. Yeah. Kittehs are doing well. Had to replace my car battery last night. Just when I think my Kia is finally going to just die, she comes out kicking and screaming. Oh, how I love my car!
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The cats, they are absolutely obnoxious. I love them. Yue has chilled out, and now only plays when I want her to. She’s still a vicious vixen on the inside, but she hides it well, under her veil of being a princess.
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Luciene is potty training. He does good with the pee, but last night he pooped in his bedroom, right after I had asked him if he needed to go to the bathroom.
He got caught, and then said he needed to go to the bathroom (afterwards). While he was sitting on the toilet, I told him he was going to get a shower, and then a spanking, and then go to bed.
He got a shower, and a spanking. He was bawling. I hate doing that sort of thing to my kids. He was hyperventilating, and his asscheeks were a bright, cherry red. He ran to his room, and I called him back out to put a diaper on. I explained it to him, and told him that he got a spanking because he went potty in his room, instead of the bathroom. He saw the diaper and FREAKED. He was screaming, “I’m not a baby!” Put the diaper on him and sent him to his room.
He has a large amount of toys in there, so I sat in the doorway and made sure he stayed on his bed. Every fiver or so minutes, I asked him if he knew why got a spanking. He said, “Because I poop in my room.” Then I’d ask him where he’s supposed to go potty. He’d respond, “In the toilet.” We did this for one half-hour. (One episode of Scooby-Doo, to be exact.) Then I asked him to get up. We hugged, and I told him he could take the diaper off, and go downstairs.
He wasn’t mad at me anymore, and he understood afterwords. I just HATE disciplining my child like that. I HATE watching him cry like that, and knowing it’s my fault. I beat myself up for it, and I’m torn between thinking I’m doing what’s right for my child, and feeling like I’m just being mean.
At this point, I will ask the interwebs as a whole. My kid is usually good at potty-training with me, but when he’s with his mom, he’s horrible. He goes when he’s at the babysitters, but only when he’s asked.I generally don’t like spanking my children; I much rather them think it out and understand that what they did was wrong. Sometimes, though, I can’t wait the two-three repeat offenses for them to understand – They need to learn some lessons the 1st time.
1.) What do you do when a child has NO interest in potty training?
2.) What are different ways to punish a child for a severe offense, without physically harming them?
Any input that could be given would be greatly appreciated. I know asking other people for suggestions on this will probably start a flame-war of some sort, so please, if you respond, don’t be judgmental of other people’s suggestions, just put forward your own.
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This is all I can really post right about now. I’m not really awake yet.
Sorry, No links in the post today. My WordPress is being strange.
So, I’ve been following @mErocrush on twitter. He’s got a website. It is NOT SAFE FOR WORK (nor mormons, catholics, or most other “I’m afraid of having a sexual life that involves something other than making babies and might be for fun” religions). Anyways, I love his work ,and am going to be buying his books. Please, look at the links, so long as amazingly stunning, visually erotic ARTWORK doesn’t offend you.
So yes, I absolutely love his use of space, the backgrounds, and the use of women to portray multiple roles within the context of non-standard environments. If the artwork of Ansel Adams and Luis Royo is eyecandy for the soul, then these are the cordials of desire.Today was day two at training. It was relatively boring, excepting the hot Cuban girl that sits next to me, and the HR woman who came in for the Sexual Harassment training. It’s a wonder she didn’t fire me then and there, what with the drooling and the staring, and the apt listening I gave her. Hopefully, she just that that we were avidly paying attention, and not thinking about the sound of her voice afterhours. Read the rest of this entry »
So, today I quit my old job. The interview went well, and I have the new job. Training begins tomorrow – bright and early at 6 AM.
The irony of it all was that I had a childcare situation last night where I would have needed to leave early, and that would have precluded my further employment anyways. So it would seem that things have worked out. Note to self: Tonight the gods feast on goats!
As always, I will not reveal my current employer, as that would preclude me from talking about my job in my blog. My previous employer, for the record, was GoDaddy.com, Inc. Anything said was OBVIOUSLY the vocalizations of a company employee and not the company I worked for. That being stated, I will miss everyone there.
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With my kids this weekend, trying to get used to being awake during the day. It’s difficult. I’d rather be sleeping, you know? Gave them Hot-Fudge dip and apples for a snack. We played, IE: They buried me alive in pillows, played tag, and are now in bed for naptime! Yeah Naptime!
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The dog has run away, and come back again, three times now. I think that, despite it’s dumb outward appearance, it is going to it’s home during the night, and when it get’s tired of them, it comes back to Ivy’s (Sara’s) house. I am amused by this human-like behavior, and wonder if it could have developed if it were a wild dog. Like returning to a hunting ground?
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Man, oh, man. I miss my family. Thinking that a visit should occur sometime soon.
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That is all for now. Due to the new schedule, look forward to more daily updates instead of weekly.
